“Feel the Heat” is Dirk Diggler’s feeble attempt to transform his porn career into rock stardom. Let’s hope that Phish’s rendition on 12/31/03 wasn’t Fishman’s feeble attempt to transform his rock stardom into a porn career.

In the tragi-comic retrospective Boogie Nights, Diggler and Reed Rothchild throw this terrible song together on the fly in a brief scene in a recording studio. Phish’s only version to date came equally on the fly, emerging out of the vacuum-cleaner mayhem that is “I Didn’t Know.” Trey dedicated the “song” to the Miami Heat basketball team.

At least Fish didn’t take the Boogie Nights theme too far: he declined to bring out his own diggler to cap off the performance. If Phish should whip the song out again, be prepared to avert your gaze.

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